Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“Are you required to disclose if you have had a venial disease?”

At first I almost didn’t list this question. I thought “of course you are”, but, as what I hope is an educated and intelligent individual, I took a minute and gave it some thought.

I have revised my answer!

Of course the answer is no longer as simple as yes or no.

The answer is now full of grey areas.

First if you have a disease such as herpes which I refer to as the “gift that keeps on giving” then yes, you should tell sexual partners even if you are not having an outbreak it is still something you can end up sharing. You might be thinking “If I wear a condom then I am protected”, this is not true my darlings. You are more protected, but guess what? You can still get things. Bodily fluids are just that: fluid. So they can get so many places and carry with it little germies.

HPV is another one you can share. Nobody wants warts on their cash-and-prizes. Also, most women don’t know they have it, so make sure you let your partner know there is a risk in having you as a playmate. Believe it or not, if this is a person who cares about you, they may not care at all you are a carrier. But, at least give them the option.

Now if it is a disease you have been treated for and the shot or pills cleared it up? Then I suggest getting tested regularly, depending on how many partners you have, testing should be once a year and if you are clean, then don’t share unless asked and this is someone you plan on playing with regularly.

As I have said before, if this is a one time thing, you don’t actually owe that person any personal facts, even your real name, that is how you can get internet stalkers.

So… my advice besides the above… USE PROTECTION!!!

Hope you have a disease free day!

xoxo

Dalia

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“Which is more intimate: Oral or Sex?”

I loved this question, honestly I love most of the questions I am asked, but this one is fun because it reminds me about when you first start dabbling, shall we say, in the sex for the first time.

Even as we are older I think that there are a portion, of mainly women, who are now or were not comfortable with someone “going down on them.”

I have also found this to be true when it comes to women giving blow-jobs or what I like to call “blowies”. Even past the beginning stages it seems that this can carry forward. I recently spoke to a friend who I believed to be very sexual and she dislikes giving blow-jobs because her partner doesn’t come fast enough.

This of course made me laugh, because during sex you don’t want your partner finishing too fast.

So…. Guess what? You can have it both ways!!! What you say? I’ll explain.

First getting to a orgasim is dependant on the person and what gets him off. But I will give a little hint: What usually helps in the “getting off” department is the repeated motion that is giving pleasure. Meaning if you are “changing what you are doing” every few moments it doesn’t allow you to build up to a climax. Basically ladies you, yes you, are making this take longer.

Now that we have cleared that up, let’s talk about the question asked. I would like to say this has a definite answer but it doesn’t from an outside person. The answer is what is more intimate to you. Simple as that. For me, in case you were wondering, I think Oral is more intimate, you are up close and personal when you are face-to-face with the cash and prizes of your partner.

So playmates out there… Although I didn’t clear up this mega-mystery I hope I have helped you in some small way. 🙂

xoxo

Dalia

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“Is giving oral cheating?”

Wow! Just WOW!

I have to say I love, love, love this question.

Whenever I get asked a question about cheating my first thought is always “What are the agreements of the relationship you are in?”

This and only this can define if it is cheating.

I don’t think enough people actually define what is cheating is to them at the beginning of a relationship or at any point. It is easy to say that having sex, oral sex, kissing, touching is cheating. However, what about talking? Flirting? Holding hands? Dancing close? Where is the line exactly?

The line is decided by you and your partner/playmate. Set the rules in the beginning and be willing to modify them when the rule needs to be changed.  Always be willing to communicate and talk about thoughts, feelings and questions on what is acceptable with your partner and what isn’t.

Being on the same page as your sexual other half is always a great idea.

xoxo

Dalia

 

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“Do you need to share your number?”

Some of you might be wondering what number? This mysterious number is the number of people you have had sex with in this lifetime.

There is much debate as to what number is too high. There have been articles, books, heck even a movie. So why would I not simply refer this person to this plethora of information? Well, it is because, simply put: It isn’t about the number.

Often in life we find that we judge ourselves against what others are doing or thinking. This is where we can get our social ques. After all, in high school, if you had sex with even one person you could be labeled a “slut” and this would follow you throughout your entire time in school. Silly actually.

Even as adults we can tend to fall into this same pattern. So what number is too much? I am sure you just thought of a number. I know I did. I am not ready to give it up just yet.

The number that is too much is actually completely dependent on the number that makes you or your partner/playmate cringe. For some that will be low number, for others, no number is too high because the cool kids don’t care.

Simply put, the number means nothing, unless it does to you.

You should only be with someone who doesn’t judge you for your past. It is silly to think that the number of people you have had sex with changes anything other then hopefully making you better in bed because of your practice. So…. this should instead make your partner/playmate happy.

xoxo

Dalia

 

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“I am in a long term relationship that ended. I feel like I am a failure. Am I?”

Although this question is not as quirky or naughty as most of the ones I get I thought it is a great question.

The simple answer is: No! You are not a failure.

As you know however, it is not that simple… Ever.

The failure of a relationship can be caused by one or both parties. Some examples of this are:

Did you get cheated on?

Did you cheat on your partner?

Did you grow apart?

Did one of you change your mind about what kind of relationship you wanted?

I could list 100 questions on this point. However, I think that all to often people enter a relationship and then BAM! they are in a relationship. This is not like getting into a car and you are in it and nothing is going to change.

People change, the world changes. If you don’t pay attention, your partner may change right in front of you and you won’t see it. You could change and they don’t see it. The failure in most relationships is forgetting that it is something that is constantly growing and changing. You have to pay attention to it or it will decompose. What an analogy? Good cause I love to give them.

If you have a garden, when you first plant it, it looks amazing, shiny, clean and new. If you don’t keep it watered, fed, replenished, replanted, tended then it will become overrun and you will not recognize it anymore for the beauty it was or it may just wilt and die.

People can get stuck in time and places. You have to constantly make changes to have your relationship work. You have to be invested in it’s growth. Go out, do things with each other, remind each other why the other person is so important to you constantly. Otherwise, one day you might look over and the person you fell in love with so long ago may be gone.

However, there is a chance by actions, usually hurt or betrayal that you or your partner will break the relationship apart. Then yes, if this was done by you to them, then you did fail the relationship and vice versa. It is also important to note, that if you don’t address the break and sit in the mire of it waiting for the other person to ‘do something’ then you are failing the relationship as well.

So remember, care for it, grow it, play constantly with each other breathing life into it and if it does end, know that sometimes that is part of growing and it isn’t always a bad thing.

xoxo

Dalia

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“Is the ‘Not in the same Area Code/Zip Code rule‘ a real thing?”

Ah… There is an answer that the very naughty/playful part of me wants to give. I think I will start by explaining, for those that might not know, what this rule is.

The Area Code/Zip Code rules are, that you are not being unfaithful to your partner if you are in a different area code or zip code then they are at the time of sexual encounter.

It is very similar to the ‘What happens in Vegas’ rule. Which is one of my personal favorites.

However, that doesn’t get us actually any closer to an answer. 🙂

The answer, like most, is not that simple.

I have found that betrayal is something that usually cannot be healed in a relationship. When a bond of trust is broken, even if attempted to be healed, it is never even half as strong as it once was.

This is a conversation that you need to have with your playmate or partner in the beginning. Since I usually have playmates, I tell them up front that they are not the only one. I make sure they know that a one-and -only is not something they can or should expect from me.

However, if you are in a committed relationship, regardless of how many parties are in the committed relationship, you need to establish ground rules.

One of my very good friends, who is in a somewhat open relationship with his wife told me that they established the rule that if they find another person that they want to be with, they ask each other if it is ok for the act to take place before the act takes place. If the other says no, then that is the answer. Simple.

So, the rule is a rule if you and your partner agree to it. Again, simple.

xoxo

Dalia

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“When is it appropriate or ideal to ask your partner for a threesome?”

Of course I think there isn’t a bad time to ask. However, there are a few things to consider before you jump into this question.

First is where are you at in your relationship? Is it a relationship? Are you just playmates?

If you are just playmates, the answer is easy… Ask away. Be prepared, however, that your playmate might be only looking for one-on-one games. If a multiple partner situation is what you are looking for, be up front with your needs. That way you do not end up with the disappointment in the long run either.

Now, if you are just starting an actual relationship with someone and this is something you want or need, again be up front with the person.

A word of advice that encompasses more then the topic above is that if you have things you need out of a relationship you are going into, then you need to make sure that you gain the agreement from your new Boo that they are on board to give you or take part in those things. If you surprise them suddenly with it later on then you can be in for a shock when you can’t have it or worse they walk away.

Lastly, if you are in a relationship for a long time and want to possibly spice it up a bit, asking for a threesome can be tricky. Make sure if you are asking this with the understanding that your partner might take offense that they are not enough for you or that you need something more than they can give you.

Also, be prepared that if you are not in a same-sex relationship and you are say, a guy asking for a girl to join you and your girlfriend, then you should be willing to allow a guy to join you two as well. Fair is fair.

Always be willing to speak your mind, but don’t do it at a low point in your sex life, make it an addition. That way your partner knows it is to take you both to the next level and not recover from a slump. Also, be willing to be told “No” and find another way to heat your loins back up.

xoxo

Dalia