Knowledge is Power: STIs & STDs

Hello!

Welcome to a subject that is not easily talked about: STI – sexually transmitted infections. (Used to be called STDs)

I had a very interesting time listening to a podcast recently called “Guys we Fucked”. @sryaboutlastnyt For the record this podcast is amazing and you should listen. However they had a guest on @talkingnut Bryan Stacey that had created an app called BIEM.

This application allows you, among other cool features, to get tested regularly and confidentially for STDs. You can speak with a doctor about issues and also connect with partners through the app.

For the Record, this isn’t because I’m getting anything out of it other then I was amazed by the options of this presented for a world that is still not as preventative is they could be about making sure they don’t contract a gift that keeps on giving.

Being a responsible playmate is making sure your cash-and-prizes is in tip top shape and that you can have open and honest conversations about this subject.

When was the last time you got tested?

How often do you ask your partner or play mate if they’ve been tested?

Being monogamous with only one person of course lends itself to less likelihood of getting an infection. But it doesn’t eliminate the possibility. What it does do is caused us to be less proactive so what if you could do any discussions with the doctor and get your lab work right from your phone? What could be easier than that?

Minimally you should be checked annually. However, if you were an active play mate then you should probably get tested more frequently. There are some of these lovely infections they don’t even show signs and you could be giving them to potential partners without even realizing it.

This is not responsible fucking.

So my friends… download the app and make sure you are playing with the best equipment. 💋

Xoxo

Dalia

How to catch an online Catfish (aka Catfishing)

I am sure most of you know what the term “Catfishing” means. There was an entire movie and TV show dedicated to it on MTV. But for those that may be a little bit in the dark, it means when you meet someone online, establish a relationship and then come to find out they are not who they said or advertised that they were.

Catfishing can involve relationships that have lasted for years. You might have talked only though email, text or even on the phone. With apps like Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook or anything with a messenger component this just gets easier.

Sometimes the person doing the Catfishing even goes as far as to ask for money, either directly or in the form of purchases or bill payments.

Most of the time however, the victims find out that the person they “fell in love” with is no where close to the pictures or persona that they portrayed. Sometimes, the person you are speaking with is not even the same gender they portrayed themselves to be.

If you are wondering why I am writing this blog, it is because I have even been the victim of a Catfish. Not that I have fallen head-over-heels, but in the realm of finding potential playmates you want to know that the person you are meeting is the same person you were interested in.

So, yesterday it happened again. I was catfished. However, I was able to catch the catfish fairly quickly so I wanted to give you some ideas that I use to check them out.

Easiest way, usually, to do a first check, is to ask them to send you a picture of themselves holding up a piece of paper (an actual piece of paper) with your name and something as simple as “Hello (Name)” for instance.

Of course this can be faked. After all, Photoshop is a wonderful tool. However, the person would have to be awfully good to pull that off and especially quickly. If they take a long time or say something like “Don’t you trust me?” tell them that you do and you are trusting them to do this for you. If they refuse then you have caught yourself a Catfish, regardless of their excuse.

Try to find them on other social media. There are ways to search by the usernames, email and phone number on almost all internet browsers. See what comes up on your search.

There can be exceptions, but the general rule is that most people have multiple social media sites. This doesn’t disprove that they are potentially a Catfish, but it will give more clues if they are real.

The latest Catfish in my situation only had Instagram, supposedly. He had a total of 9 photos, all of them were nicely done and he was very attractive. He also had a name as his user name with numbers like: bobsmith0293 (This would allow you to search him by name possibly, which I did, to see if he had other social media sites.) I did this and found nothing.

One of the biggest situations that stuck out to me was on Instagram he had the following statistics:

9 Photos (All Selfies)

104 Followers

1907 Following

Why is this relevant? Because 98% of the people he was following were females. He was fishing.

On any social media,  see how social they are. Do they post? Do they have friends? Do the friends comment? Are friends tagged in photos? If they seem like they are not a real person, they most likely are not.

You can do a Google Image Search where you compare the image they provided you and you can see if this image pops up anywhere else on the internet. This is a little hit-or-miss but it is still a good tool sometimes to find someone who has stolen another persons identity.

One of the final and most important things you can request is a video chat. Even if you do not like doing a video chat, there are so many apps that have this including: Facebook, Facetime, Snapchat, Google Hangouts, Skype, I know there are many many more. Even if it is for just a short time, you should see this person and actually speak with them.

How I caught mine was the photo trick listed above. He sent me a photo, no paper and no name. It wasn’t my request and proved nothing. So what did I do?

I walked away.

No matter the situation, do you build yourself into a false relationship. Do not justify why this person may be doing this. If you are looking for something real, even over the interwebs, then find it. You deserve that.

Good luck out there and remember there are always other fish in the sea. (I know that was terrible but fitting. )

xoxo

Dalia

 

Ask Dalia…

Question: “Can you use a sex toy on multiple partners?”

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

So… Here again is the question:

“Can you use a sex toy on multiple partners?”

I am going to assume first that this question is not about disposable items such as eatable underwear. Because of course the answer is: NO! This is closely followed by: What the Hell are you thinking?

But with normal sex toys?? I would have to say yes. However, there are a couple points to this which are 100% hygiene related.

First, and truly the most important, you HAVE to keep your toys clean. Even if you are only using them on yourself. I don’t mean throw them in the dishwasher. This can be bad, very bad, unless we are talking about glass toys, but again, you should most likely not put them in the dishwasher anyhow.

There are specific cleaners that should be used on sex toys. These will usually keep them from drying out and getting micro cracks where germs can hide.

Even if you are talking about items like handcuffs, sex pillows, blindfolds, sex-swings, ball-gags, etc, you want to make sure you keep these items clean. Anything that can come into contact with oraficies need to be nice and clean. 🙂

I do think that this question was not about so much the cleanliness “if” but the sharing “if” of using toys on multiple people.

The answer for me is I think it is fine.

Unless the person you are with specifically requests that you do not use a toy on/with them that has been used by another then I wouldn’t worry about it and also, I would not feel the need to volunteer this information. Similar to the “How many people you have been with before them?” it is not information I would volunteer without 1) being asked and 2) wanting to form a long term bond with that person.

I hope this helped and may your toys be plentiful.

xoxo

Dalia

P.S. If you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“At one point are you “in a relationship””?

The age old, how and when do you “name the puppy”?

Well boys and girls, I think it is funny when I hear people tell me that they don’t know if they are in a relationship or they tell me that they are waiting for the other person to tell them or declare it or something.

So weird.

It is really a simple thing and something you should be communicating with the person you may or may not be in this “relationship” with. Ask them!

If you find you want to be with that person, then you should probably make sure the feelings are mutual. That way you can’t be disappointing if you are more invested then they are or will be.

Before you mentally commit fully, find out if you are both in it for real.

xoxo

Dalia

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“How long does it take to meet the real person you started dating?”

This question is amazing!

I would like to put the disclaimer that if you are in a “relationship” that is really only a playmate, you might not want to get to know them very well. After all, the more you know the more a connection forms. So, keep it to a first name only basis.

However, if you are looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, I have found that most, not all people tend to not present themselves fully until about six months into the relationship.

I can understand why people tend to try to put their best foot forward when starting to date someone, however, if that is not who you really are, then you will end up possibly disappointing the other person.

A very good friend once told me something that has been so true for me for years. He said, when he starts dating someone, if he finds he thinks that it is something he wants to pursue then he lets that person all the way in. He let’s them see the real him. He also tells them that one of his best friends is an ex-girlfriend. He feels that if a person cannot handle him with all of these things, then he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with them. It is that simple.

So, I say be yourself, but be prepared that the person you are seeing is not being themselves all the way and there may be a different person underneath.

So, happy hunting!

xoxo

Dalia

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“Is it cheating if it is a virtual encounter?”

I wonder sometimes if these questions are looking for me to give them a thumbs-up to what they want to do. Instead I will dissect this little nugget.

So, the cheating question comes up more then one would think. Where is the line?

The entire subject of what is considered “cheating” can only be established by the rules of the relationship you are in. This means it is something you and your partner, playmate, or spouse has to decide.

Virtual is an interesting topic, because most of the time, things on the internet are not always what they appear to be. Also, putting very private things via text, photos and videos have the inevitable problem of being saved and shared by the other party.

#Whoretip: Do not put anything out via the internet that you are not comfortable sharing with the world. Because, that very well could happen.

I’m excited I got a whoretip out of this question to share. 🙂

Anyway, to answer the question, sharing any part of you: physically, mentally or emotionally that isn’t an agreement you have with anyone you are in a relationship with is cheating.

Hope this helps all you naughty virtual playmates.

xoxo

Dalia

Ask Dalia…

Hello All,

I find that since I am the wielder of #whoretips, I regularly get asked for my advice on situations of the dating/sexual relationship nature. Since I give these little nuggets of what I believe are wisdom, I thought I would start posting them here. I hope they are helpful or simply entertaining.

Also, if you have a question, please feel free to ask me here or email me dalialance@gmail.com. I would love to help you with your question if I can.

So… Here is the question:

“Do I need to reveal my tattoos or piercings if they are hidden normally in my clothes before my clothes come off?”

This one, I was surprised I was asked. How did this come up? Well I asked and the answer suprised me. The person asking, a female, has a clit piercing, and she had been seeing a gentleman for about two weeks and they decided to seal-the-deal so to speak and when they did, in the middle of the defined mating ritual (aka sex) he left.

Yep ladies and gentlemen: He left her there in the room.

When confronted later, he said that he came up close to her clit piercing and it freaked him out.

WHAT????

You left perfectly good sex because of that? What the hell is wrong with you?

I know, I thought the same things, however, you have to remember something: You never know that will turn someone on or off. It is not fair to judge someone based on what they like or don’t. I will however judge him for how he handled the situation. It was bad, very bad.

Alas, let’s get to my advice on this very controversial subject, just kidding. Seriously though, yes, I would give a little warning what a person may encounter when the clothes come off unless they specify they don’t want to know.  This even includes your grooming routines. If you have a big bush (This applies to boys or girls) then you may want to give warning before the jungle adventure begins for your partner.

So… There you have it, disclosure is always best. 🙂

xoxo

Dalia