Valentine’s Day

Hello All,

It is that time of year again for possibly one of the most sex filled holidays on record. Unless of course you count any time you can wrap yourself up as a present. Oh, and Halloween where it seems like the challenge is how to end up with the least amount of clothes and still call it a “costume”. I think my costume of just a pirate patch is amazing.

Although, we have defiantly made the V-Day into an epic candy, flower and card filled holiday, it didn’t start off that way. It actually has some VERY dark roots dating back to the time of the Romans.

From Feb. 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain.

The Roman romantics were drunk and they were naked. Young women would actually line up for the men to hit them. They believed this would make them fertile.

This puts a whole BDSM flavor on the holiday. Way to spice it up Rome!

This holiday is intended to be about love. But putting such a nasty restriction on such a yummy event seems silly.

I believe that when we celebrate, especially highly commercialized holidays, it should have a list of things we are celebrating with someone you at least kinda know. So for this Valentine’s Day here is the Dalia list of 5 reasons to give a card, present or sex:

  1. Orgasms – This is the number one reason to celebrate. If you are given them, then acknowledge the hell out of the one bestowing these gifts.
  2.  Oral – Hopefully this one goes with #1, but good oral should always be celebrated.
  3. Kissing – Someone who is an amazing kisser should be worshiped.
  4. Fondling – A good fondle can go a long way. Make sure you give a good acknowledgement of a job well done when you are stimulated.
  5. Hug – Being hugged right can push you into zone. If that happens make sure the hugger knows to keep up the good work.

I also think that when you masturbate and blow your own mind, this might be worthy of a box of your favorite caramels.

#Whoretip: You can have an amazing holiday without the pressure of deciding how to not do too much and also do just enough… to get you off!

I hope you have many good celebrations this V-Day!

xoxo

Dalia

P.S. If you want to read more fun stuff on the not so chocolate filled holiday click here.

 

Kiss (or More) Under the Mistletoe!

Hello All,

It is that time of year again when most celebrate, depending on your faith, some type of joyful event. As I am a firm believer that you should respect the religious beliefs of others, regardless if you agree with their principles, I would like to instead to focus on kissing.

First and foremost I hope you all made the “naughty” list. If so, I am proud to be counted among you!

Mistletoe, the plant, has been talked about since the times of the Greek and Norse gods. It happens to be one of the very few plants what will grow in the dead of winter. Many, including the druids, took this as a sign that it represented fertility.

At some point, after Christmas was formed as a holiday, this fun tradition of kissing under the mistletoe was added to the roster of events that you can partake in. Of course, it was also that kissing under the mistletoe is the only time you can kiss someone other then your husband/wife with immunity from scandal. I am not sure if this is still the case. Regardless, this is something you can have fun with and there for we should play a holiday game, or for the rest of the year.

I deem this the beginning of the 2016 Mistletoe Kissing Madness!

So here are the rules:

  1. You have to use Mistletoe.
  2. You have to kiss people you have never kissed before.
  3. Points will be awarded/counted by, a) the clever use of mistletoe; b) how many complete strangers you can kiss. Extra points should then be awarded on number of people involved in the kiss, types of kisses, length of kisses and how many turn into playmates.

I know my plan for at least the beginning of 2016!

May you and yours have a wonderful holiday season and I look forward to seeing how the 2016 Mistletoe Madness goes for you!

#Whoretip: Wear your signature shade of Whore lipstick!

xoxo

Dalia

 

 

History Channel

To Masturbate or Not to Masturbate… That is the Question

Alright, I know, the answer is always to masturbate…

Honestly though, I can say it is interesting, that there is still stigma associated with masturbation.

Parents still freak out when they walk in on their kids. This unfortunately, can cause a child to think what they are doing is wrong or something that needs to be hidden.

When some people walk in on their significant other pleasing themselves, they can get jealous or even angry that they were not invited to be involved.

There are also people who “have never done it” or “don’t like it.” I am sure there are those people in this world, however they should be treated like a science experiment as they should be studied.

I, for one, love masturbation. I think most should, if not love, at least like it a lot.

I also think, that we should take a look as a society on how we should treat masturbation.  So here are my thoughts and since this is my blog, if you are still reading, then here does it!

I believe that knowing your body and knowing what pleases you is not only helpful but vital to a healthy sex life. How can you tell your partner what you enjoy most, if you do not know yourself?

I also believe that in any relationship masturbation can and should be encouraged. This is of course if your partner is not using masturbation in the place of engaging in sexual acts with you. Then, I would communicate, there is an issue and you need to fix it.

When it comes to the younger version of adults, AKA children/teenagers. If you walk in on your child masturbating: DON’T FREAK OUT! I am sorry I was yelling just then, but please, just walk out of the room and when they come to you, open the floor for discussion. If they don’t bring it to you, you can gently ask them if they have questions. Make it safe to talk to you about it. In the future it will make a better environment, when the big issues come up. If they know they can talk to you, then you will actually be able to give advice that might save them from making a mistake they will have for the rest of their life.

So, I leave you with this last pearl of wisdom: It is up to us as a society to make sure that regardless of our own opinions, even the ones I am stating now, that you respect what others think. You don’t have to agree, but don’t put them down either. If your friends, neighbors, spouse, or playmates what to do a double click or their mouse, or spank the monkey then let them have at it. I encourage you to do the same!

Whoretip: Masturbation, with or without a partner should always be part of your sexual regimen. 🙂

xoxo

Dalia

 

 

“What guy are you on?”

This hilarious question was asked by a reader of My Home on Whore Island to one of my dear friends, who is also reading the book.

My friend, who for the record is an amazingly sexy nurse, wanted me to know that my book has created it’s own nomenclature in regards to referring to which part you are on. Instead of which “chapter” it is which “guy”.

I loved this… and of course I asked her which “Guy” she was on? Turns out she was on Mark, or as I like to call him “Panties on the door”.

Here is #Whoretip from Mark’s chapter: Stay-on make-up, especially lip color, should always be in your arsenal. It is important that at any stage of playing you look fabulous and your partner doesn’t end up wearing your shade!

So… What “Guy” are you on???

xoxo

Dalia

How to know you are sitting squarely in the “Friend-Zone”…

Hello All,

I had a good friend of mine, who recently went on a date, tell me what happened at the end of the night and it caused me to think: How often does a person end up in or arrive and never leave the “Friend-Zone”?

So what is the Friend-Zone?

If you ask your friends I am sure you will get many variations on the definition of this term. It is interesting that most of them revolve around being a male that is friend-zoned (yes, that is now a verb) by a female.

Friend-zone: This is a place, not physical but very real, where you decide that a person who is interested, or could be interested, in a relationship that has a sexual context to it is mentally put in a category of someone you would NEVER have sex (or sexual type relations) with.

I think most if not all of us have been friend-zoned at some point or have friend-zoned (past tense) someone.

Signs you are Friend-Zoned:

  • You flirt with them, they do not flirt back.
  • You go on a date and they attempt to high-five you in the end. (This just happened on my friend’s date). This or any non-affectionate response to the date.
  • If they ALWAYS bring up how happy they are with their current other half.
  • If when you discuss what you like to do for a playmate or partner and they tell you they arn’t into that.
  • They tell you that you are “like” some member of their family.
  • You get put in the same category of behavior as an ex they say they don’t like.
  • They are more affectionate with other friends than you.
  • You get told that they are “so glad you are friends”.
  • You buy them the type of presents a partner would and they do not act as excited as they do when their actual partner gives them the same type of present.
  • There is no issue talking to you about the details of the playmates/partners they have or desire to have.

There are many more examples of the above. One of the biggest things you have to remember is that you may hear stories of people who were friends for years and one of them was in love with the other. Then one day the other realized that person was their soulmate.

THIS IS THE EXCEPTION NOT THE RULE!

I am yelling this (in text) because if you are friend-zoned, it is 99.9999% likely you will ALWAYS be in that zone. This doesn’t mean I am saying there is a chance. There is not a chance.

The only chance you have is waste a ton of your time or energy that you could spend finding an actual playmate or partner that wants you as much as you want them. Remember, it is usually a crush. It will be hard not to have those feelings. However, spend your time finding that person who desires you back.

Whoretip: Make sure that the juice will be worth the squeeze.

xoxo

Dalia

 

How do you say “NO” once it has started??

It occurred to me while having a conversation with a potential playmate, that most, if not all of us, have gotten into a situation sexually where we hit a point that we want to stop, for whatever reason, and simply don’t know how to actually accomplish that goal.

Now, I want to say first and foremost, I am not talking about where you are being “forced”. I am not speaking of when there is a situation where consent isn’t granted. That is rape. This is not that kind of encounter.

I am speaking of encounters when you go back to your place, their place or a hotel for example and you, at some point in the playtime, realize you no longer want to play. 🙂

What do you do?

If the location is somewhat public, like a restroom at a night club, the situation can easily resolve itself. I mean after all, you can sprint out of the bathroom, into the club and disappear into the crowd. One can hope that if you are to this point you haven’t given your full details to this potential hook-up.

Whoretip: Don’t give your details to a potential hook-up unless you are sure you want to add them to your roster.

However, if you are alone, in a room and in varying stages of being unclothed it is not so easy.

I know I personally have endured a continued encounter, and even faked some very strong orgasms ‘verbally’ to get out of that situation more rapidly. Recently I watched the movie Trainwreck where the lead character fell asleep to avoid anything past the oral encounter.

Is this wrong? The answer is maybe and here is why:

If you fake it, then your partner at the time has assumed they have done a good job (aka Gold Star) and it gives the immediate illusion you would want to do this again with them. When you don’t a void of “what the hell” is created for them.

The flip side is they haven’t learned anything. Obviously something is wrong or you would want to continue this play date. But should you tell them? Would you want to be told if you were doing something wrong?

Again, the answer is “maybe”.

Most of us are not built to receive criticism of anything, let alone our abilities in the sexual arena.

If you start of in a situation where your playmate knows you are more experienced and is willing to take instruction, then bonus. If not, well, then you can come across as simply being a bitch or an asshole. Because most of us are also not built to give criticism correctly either. Then what do you do?

This depends on a couple of factors. Can you simply walk away or do you have to interact with this person again?

As I mentioned in My Home on Whore Island it is important never to make a playmate out of someone you have to interact with in the future. Such as your favorite bartender. If it goes badly for either of you, you have a very awkward situation and you have lost your favorite bartender.

If you don’t ever have to see them again, unless fate decides it needs to kick you in your pink parts, then tell them, gently. Which means you have to be prepared to be called names, yelled at or handle a sobbing mess. Make sure if you do tell them what they did wrong then compliment something, anything they did right.

So what if you decide to let the playtime play itself out? You can do this as well, you can fake it, heck even a guy can fake it if he does it correctly.

There is another solution to this problem, albeit one that takes you knowing what you like, and how to be pleased regardless of the state of your partner:

Take charge and make it pleasurable.

I know that you can change the position, change the sexual act, change location. There is a heat there that started this encounter, so you can change it up to do what you like, and what is pleasurable, to make it better for you and for them.

If that is impossible, then yes, dear God, walk the hell away.

I hope that you can look at this type of situation in the future and not give up one part of who you are to get through it. If you want to stay, stay. If you want to go: Go. But don’t suffer ever with a bad playmate.

xoxo

Dalia

 

 

How to make a girl (author) all ‘tingly’…..

Since ‘My Home on Whore Island’, the digital version was sent to all those who bought during the pre-sale. I wanted to ask you a HUGE favor.

As an author and an artist I love the feedback from my fans. It is important to me to know what you guys like or love about my work. Similarly, if there is something you don’t like, please feel free to communicate that as well. However, the absolute best way to tell me and frankly the world that my writing made you laugh, smile, cringe, or giggle is by writing a review.

If you have read or are reading my book or any of my stories, PLEASE, write a review on Amazon or Goodreads.

If you haven’t had a chance to grab my book, you can get it below:

http://www.amazon.com/Whore-Island-Randi-Michaels-Novel-ebook/dp/B016WZLTDS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1446486818&sr=8-1&keywords=dalia+lance

I promise that your review will make me so happy that I will get all tingly in my pink parts!!!

XOXO

Dalia