I thought I had a fetish…. but maybe…

I was out at a bar the other night, big surprise I know. I happened to be with two of my most amazing friends. The subject got brought up of Fetishes, after a couple of Key Lime Mojitos.

They asked me if I had any fetishes.  Of course I do… I mean, doesn’t everyone?

It is however, never quite that simple. So, I decided while taking another sip to look up what truly defines a fetish.

The word fetish actually originated in 1610s (per dictionary.com), fatisso, from Portuguese feitiço “charm, sorcery,” from Latin facticius “made by art,” from facere “to make”.

If you look at the definitions displayed they don’t seem to help much either.

1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology. any object or non-genital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
Silly me, I thought being tied up was a fetish, or dressing as a furry, or any number of other ways one can get turned on. However, it seems that at least if we want to use the English language properly, then the above options are not a fetish.
I decided to turn to urbandictionary.com for some help. If you don’t like the way a word is used, find somewhere else with the definition you want. Here is what it had to say:
1. An object thought to have magical, especially magically sexual, powers
2. A sexual fixation or obsession with a usually non-sexual object. EX. socks, horses, monkeys, pain, bondage
So, now I suppose we can label everything I described above as a fetish.  Now that it has been settled. We can talk about the question posed.
I realized in being asked that question, “Do you have a fetish?” implies that I have a sexual fixation or erotic response to something that is considered “not normal”. If it is normal then it wouldn’t be a fetish would it?
Alas, this of course calls me to question, what exactly defines normal sex? Is it man & woman, in a bed, in the dark, in a missionary position. Can they talk? It seems all too confining.
I think that everyone who truly enjoys sex, has what would be considered a fetish. I know I do. I have several.
How about you?
Don’t forget to check out my book:

2 thoughts on “I thought I had a fetish…. but maybe…

  1. Dalia, as a professional dominatrix and the other half of a dominant couple (both of us dominate others, together), I can tell you that fetishes cross such a broad spectrum of desires that sometimes it’s overwhelming. My husband and I frequently indulge male submissives that wish to be cuckolded but don’t have wives that will be sexually promiscuous in front of them. I role play as their wife while my husband role plays as the anonymous “bull” that picks me up and ends the session by fucking me as they are “forced” to watch. I hate the use of so many quotation marks but it does truly reflect the desires and thoughts within this fetish. We’ve even engaged in this type of scenario only to find out that all the submissive wanted was to just watch a couple fuck. I have submissives that love leather gloves, dirty feet, thigh high boots, latex attire, golden showers and high heels. The unfortunate thing is that fetishes are frequently looked upon by others as aberrant behavior.


    1. Thank you for sharing!

      I agree with you 100% and feel that the thoughts of others are interesting from a judgement standpoint. I think it is easy for everyone to decide that because it is something they are not comfortable with or they do not understand that everyone should feel the same way they do. This is the case in far to many aspects of life and in it’s own way is bullying. Trying to make someone feel bad about their sexual preferences is simply idiotic. As long as the persons involved are consenting and of proper age then what you, and your partner(s) do is yours to enjoy and is not for anyone to scrutinize.

      I can say I am proud that you an your husband have found what makes you feel good and that you enjoy and hope you always remember that is what counts. Always stay true to who you are and what makes you feel good!

      – Dalia


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