I thought I had a fetish…. but maybe…

I was out at a bar the other night, big surprise I know. I happened to be with two of my most amazing friends. The subject got brought up of Fetishes, after a couple of Key Lime Mojitos.

They asked me if I had any fetishes.  Of course I do… I mean, doesn’t everyone?

It is however, never quite that simple. So, I decided while taking another sip to look up what truly defines a fetish.

The word fetish actually originated in 1610s (per dictionary.com), fatisso, from Portuguese feitiço “charm, sorcery,” from Latin facticius “made by art,” from facere “to make”.

If you look at the definitions displayed they don’t seem to help much either.

1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology. any object or non-genital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
Silly me, I thought being tied up was a fetish, or dressing as a furry, or any number of other ways one can get turned on. However, it seems that at least if we want to use the English language properly, then the above options are not a fetish.
I decided to turn to urbandictionary.com for some help. If you don’t like the way a word is used, find somewhere else with the definition you want. Here is what it had to say:
1. An object thought to have magical, especially magically sexual, powers
2. A sexual fixation or obsession with a usually non-sexual object. EX. socks, horses, monkeys, pain, bondage
So, now I suppose we can label everything I described above as a fetish.  Now that it has been settled. We can talk about the question posed.
I realized in being asked that question, “Do you have a fetish?” implies that I have a sexual fixation or erotic response to something that is considered “not normal”. If it is normal then it wouldn’t be a fetish would it?
Alas, this of course calls me to question, what exactly defines normal sex? Is it man & woman, in a bed, in the dark, in a missionary position. Can they talk? It seems all too confining.
I think that everyone who truly enjoys sex, has what would be considered a fetish. I know I do. I have several.
How about you?
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What happens when you stop looking for Mr. Right and start looking for Mr. Right Now?


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Let’s define what a “Slut” is shall we?

It occurred to me today that there is a very interesting and diverse definition of what a “slut” is.

I think traditionally it has meant someone, usually a female, who “sleeps around”.

This my friends is another example of where the actual definition of this delightful term, which actually means “a slovenly, untidy woman or girl” has now come to mean a woman who is “an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.” (Thank you dictionary.com)

Now to the part that got me thinking. How or who determines if a girl is a “slut”. I think I want to first remove the idea that this person has to be female. I think for the sake of gender equality we may want to just say, how do we determine if a person is a “slut”?

Well, I think we would have to categorize it. This seems the only sensible thing to do with this highly ridiculous label.

So, how about we use the below criteria:

1.) They have had sexual relations with a certain number of people?

Sex being loosely defined as: you played with their cash and prizes and they played with yours. Penetration is not required. I know more woman who think giving a blow-job is more intimate than sex. Anyhow, I am digressing.

2.) How quickly upon meeting this person that said sexual encounter occurred?

3.) What is the number of persons verses the amount of time?

4.) Was protection used?

With all of these points to consider, I am sure each person reading this could put together their formula that makes the person they are using the calculation ready for labeling. The problem is, it is arbitrary.

Here is my calculation on the above points and yes, in case you were wondering, I am going to go point by point. 🙂

1.) Have sex with as many people as you want and that want to have sex with you.*

* Of course, a) Don’t do this if your in a monogamous relationship. Cheating is the worst. If you want to play with someone other than your committed partner, then break it off with them. Go, play, but not at the expense of the feelings of someone else.

2.) How quickly you decide to play tonsil hockey is up to you. There is no time limit or expectancy. If you meet someone and want to go get it on in the car, do it. It is your life and your choices. Make sure it is actually what you want and it makes you happy. Remember, there is such a very potent thing as ‘lust at first sight’.

3.) If your game is bagging more then one person in a day. Again, it’s your choice if your playmates are game.

Make sure you are always honest. If you just want to get “laid” and the person you are with wants a “relationship” then walk away. Any playmate you chose should know and agree to the rules of the game. (So many analogies, I love them in case you are wondering.)

4.) If you do not use protection you are a complete idiot. There is no other way to say it. Use protection no matter the quantity or frequency of your playing. Your motto should be: Safety First.

At the end of my look into what it takes to be a “slut” I think it actually is only possible to be called a “slut” by narrow minded individuals trying to make their viewpoint or opinion somehow more important then everyone else.

If you are comfortable with who you are, what you want and who you want it with and your partners feel the same way; have at it.

If someone calls you a slut, remember, there is no science behind them blurting that out. It is just them looking mentally untidy.


Coming Soon!!!

I am very excited to announce I have the final book cover for my up coming novel called My Home on Whore Island.

This is the first in the Randi Michael’s Novels.

What happens when you stop looking for Mr. Right and start looking for Mr. Right Now?

Look for it in both kindle and hardback editions on Amazon soon!